I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
