the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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