C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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