mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
