Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
