No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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