I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
