how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
