How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
