Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
