hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
