who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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