My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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