You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
