im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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