He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize