im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
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