I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
