dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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