wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
