Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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