So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
