no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
