I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
