I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
