Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
