I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize