Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
