...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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