and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
