Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
