you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
