Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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