It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
