I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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