i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
