Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
