Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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