Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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