He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
