We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
