He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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