did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
