I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
