This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
His hands were made for my vagina.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
