it wasn't lemon gatorade
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Randomize
