that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
NoShamevember. You game?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
