I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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