Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
