Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
