So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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