he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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