508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
