Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
