i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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