I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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