Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
