I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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