we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
