Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
vagina is talking i cant
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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