I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
